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The turning of the year
Miffy, Rabbit-on-the-loose, Carrotblog, Fine Art Rabbit
carrotblog
From the end of this one to the dawning of the new -

I've lost you. For good.

For better or for worse - this is all I've got. This moment in which I live without you.

Maybe every moment we have had together, has impressed upon me, the love you've shown me before

I ever knew.

And now, I know nothing, other than this loss.

All that you don't see
Miffy, Rabbit-on-the-loose, Carrotblog, Fine Art Rabbit
carrotblog
In search - all this time, I am finding me. Here in darkness. Of your tent, where you once stood. Fixed on things, technical and shiny, no time for the inner rodeo. Of life and its spirit, darkened here in your tent.












Acknowledgements to the anonymous photographer for the image of the tent.

Top of the world (on losing myself)
Miffy, Rabbit-on-the-loose, Carrotblog, Fine Art Rabbit
carrotblog





At last it dawns on me.

Self-realisation beings with conservation.

Interior life and external structures - co-inciding in a point of departure.

Camp Miffy
Miffy, Rabbit-on-the-loose, Carrotblog, Fine Art Rabbit
carrotblog

Camp Miffy
Originally uploaded by miffy_carrotblog.
Well it's been some time. Out here camping inland
discovering a way of life under cloudy skies. There
were strangers - two of them? Who pass by me.
Indifferent to the inner themes, inquisitive - of me -
not me - of knowing circumstances around me.
Their questions: intrusion. Fear - why me? I walk
on, you stop. Hiding high under cloud cover as their
tent and trap splay as wide as man brings.

From eastern shores, 150 years ago - who were you
that you might come to these inland lakes? I read of
you, stranger in our midst, lost to the landscape of my
home lakes. The modern stranger - lacking such grace
here makes no time for the inner life which you sought
to illustrate out here camp ground, thawing out in hidden
sentiment, revealed in mist and fog through English shores.

For you they came, signpost blank, they turned in sly
manner searching for one's own gain. Camp farm, growing
doubt, weary of stranger's discourse, I look away from you -
no shelter here as I turn myself towards the open cloud.

Island Holiday
Miffy, Rabbit-on-the-loose, Carrotblog, Fine Art Rabbit
carrotblog

Island Holiday
Originally uploaded by miffy_carrotblog.
So close to me as the horizon draws near, thoughts of escape bring me into the open sea. Of things unknown, the end of the last lunar cycle. Of things known, this world I travel to, across the stretch of the city by night, awake by morning light, working by nightfall in a life, not of my own design. Moments coming - anticipating this freedom, how it frightens me back towards concrete certainty. Of all that I am, things that I do, there is nothing more than you - the life of the other - who embraces me in the work that I do.

Work that I carry, carried in this head, soon you will be released from me and here, I ponder rock-face salt-air of your bitter months, eroding into the well of my being. Facing uncertainty, how clean you strike a line across this world of mine, vignetting down into island hue. You, the other, who fails to release me. Bonded to you in schedule and meeting. Through all, now behind me, as February's close draws near, I am here, before it all. Uncertainty's horizon, before me once more.

Where can I go, that journey's end which stays me once more with thoughts of home? I am away. Closer to being....being washed up on foreign shores. Shore of uncertain life, life that now beckons me.

It is close - time. Rock face, salt pillar, you whom I leave behind. I love you with sweet bitterness as I stretch forth into the new salt air.

Mechant II [Collapse vs Fall]
Miffy, Rabbit-on-the-loose, Carrotblog, Fine Art Rabbit
carrotblog

Mechant II
Originally uploaded by miffy_carrotblog.






I saw him where I once stood, standing there over the silence that was once mine. In corner hidden, close to my heart, there he clambered in cryptic semotic, bewildering as I turned inwards, stance fleeing from myself and meaning fled - in the going dread gone.

Hearing him, the sense derived from stones and pebbles, concrete foundation of my youth, ebbed into rubble against my recollected youth, of this corner of my solitude. Stance. He knew me from a distance. barking commands, to those who would be commanded by their own weakened spirit. Living, yet unknowing of the foundation on which life stands. Here, stoned in my analytical corner, semiotic giving rise to reflections of the still-life of stones, what can arrogance hold?

No room for me in fled clamber, there is none left in my corner as he displaced me, moved me on, an errant gipsy, unspirited gentle yet weak, unable to commandeer or hold onto what was mine, even this very heart. Reflection - did I not flee you in these howling winds? And flight from stone, where am I other than ice-drenched in snow? Where am I now that he has pushed me here, from home, towards the world that I have never known? My corner, abandoned to cries of clamber! Clamber! Trampled clamber, trampled mercilessly! Grave of my solitude - here; now. It has become yours too.

Mechant semiotique
Miffy, Rabbit-on-the-loose, Carrotblog, Fine Art Rabbit
carrotblog

Mechant semiotique
Originally uploaded by miffy_carrotblog.





Miffy knack knack. Knact nact knact. Knac't naca nacal nac. Knack knact. K'nact. Kacn't Miffy knack knoc knoca kna. Nac noc. Noc. Noc nac t'nac. Nac. T'nac ton nac. Nac ton. Ton Nac. Miffy nac. Miffy at nac not nac ton.

Nac nac nyak.

Nyack.


Lostandfound [ ] .
Miffy, Rabbit-on-the-loose, Carrotblog, Fine Art Rabbit
carrotblog

Lostandfound
Originally uploaded by miffy_carrotblog.





Howling wind in breakneck speed here in my own home you blow me. Out barren breach, lifeless leaf of mine turned over in time. I breathe - your gust - lost force - vented feel - cool I breathe - here in longing for Black Oak Tree.

Void of emotion. Void.


Catbells
Miffy, Rabbit-on-the-loose, Carrotblog, Fine Art Rabbit
carrotblog

Catbells
Originally uploaded by miffy_carrotblog.
At the start of the new year, here I find my way towards the end of the roll which takes me further from the noise of your world.

Home, wandering here above Derwent Water, rings of silence all around me remind me that I am blessed to be here - away from all the stress beneath me. Belated yet free.

Happy New Year.

Bega & Cuthbert
Miffy, Rabbit-on-the-loose, Carrotblog, Fine Art Rabbit
carrotblog

Bega & Cuthbert
Originally uploaded by miffy_carrotblog.
On and on, centuries left you forlorn, here on the right. St Bega standing here, existing here before me, opening up heaven's bright sky. . Do you not?

Perched and pondering - trap, outside of me, melody on-and-off how am I to know what is and what is not? Syncopated with the life I have come to see, gravel grain, you my guilt creep away from me.

Foundation beneath me, support me as I show off, harmony with another, still when I question you before thought melts me into your consciousness

Were you not - to exist, who then person - fake in red behind me, non-existent in mind's eye, visible here stilll? Disappear there, you here I there, eye that lies, concerning me worry anxious deep, lying deeper behind you still.

If all eye surveys, known here, is the foundation of me knowing this much, then foundation open, flowing consciousness, question me before this sacred den as I embrace my leap from hollow end.

I have returned; it has been two months, and here at the turn of the year, I have come to ....not knowing, nor seeing. Existing.

Immediate: you are my consciousness. Eye: see that I am here. Seeing - now. How am I to be? Beyond time and space, there is no other, than the known that can escape. I call you truth.